The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse

Stated early on the book, the author’s purpose is to help the reader examine their own practice of Christianity (25).  For the most part they succeeded.  It read a lot like a Bible study book so in terms of practical help it was powerful.  One could tell the authors understand the Bible and how this concept can be survived with the help of Godly wisdom.  I found their work with Jeremiah 5 to be incredibly fitting (30).  Spiritual abuse has been around for a long time.  Most leaders are controlling self-absorbed folks who may have experienced abuse in one form another in their formative years.  The leader leads for themselves and not the needs of the people.   The NT calls these folks, “ravenous wolves, broods of vipers, Judaizers or legalists.”

How often I have lived out some of the traits of an abusive system.  Living by grace is not easy at all.  In fact, it is downright difficult to release all authority to Jesus’ Lordship.  One has to believe that He is able and not just able but is good enough to care for us.  That is why I found the discussion on whether behavior is sin or the attitude or reason for my actions (208-210).  We choose a bad behavior because of a belief that God is not good enough.  The reason many churches and people are dead and abusive is because they have chosen to make behaviors more spiritual than the heart.  Subsequently, there is no flow to their lives.  They know their Bibles, memorize them but there is nothing flowing to others.  And the unintended reality is death rocked by fear and confusion.  God tends to leave Churches that promote death like activities.  It is not good to be in a place that God has left (220).

Perhaps the quote of the entire book was, “Only  Jesus can bring life to dead churches, families, marriages or people” (207).  It is clear that my ministry at times does not reflect the ministry of Jesus, who had a purpose in all of his actions (207).  I found it incredibly rich to see that my ministry is not necessarily built on changing or cleaning up people’s behaviors or even teaching classes, building buildings, serving on committees and going to seminars (204).    Robert S. McGee wrote a stunning book called, “The Search for Significance.”  This book and McGee’s book has a similar feel to it (45).  As a ministry leader it is that I shepherd with wisdom and skill.  David not only had a wonderful heart he also had skillful hands (Ps. 78:72).  Finally, it is pure genius to equate grace and empowerment together.  Grace is God’s goodness on our behalf.  We take the next steps out of gratitude.  However, the abusive systems don’t empower they control.  I loved the chart at the back of the book.  Ministries are full of systems thinking that only accentuates the leadership philosophy.  A system where the Pastoral team has little needs and many gifts to offer a flock that has little gifts and great needs is a dying system.  It is a breeding ground for abuse and control.  The better model is the Pastoral team and membership all have needs and gifts but everyone looks to Jesus the giver of fruit and ministry power (229-230).  The Pastoral staff might have unique experiences but ultimately it is Jesus who empowers.